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I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Hard
Drinking
Hollywood
Begin
Asked
Tell
Ends
Ever

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A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
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I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!
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I can do anything I want to do!
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I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
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A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him and it usually does.
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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
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To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.
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Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
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Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.
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Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
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The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.
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The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
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It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
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I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
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I never eat before breakfast.
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I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
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I like children - fried.
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