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I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Hollywood
Begin
Asked
Tell
Ends
Ever
Hard
Drinking

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The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
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I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
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It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
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Some people are born losers others acquire the knack gradually.
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Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
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Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.
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I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.
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I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
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My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
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I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.
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Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
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It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
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It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
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