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I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Ever
Hard
Drinking
Hollywood
Begin
Asked
Tell
Ends

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Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
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Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
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Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
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Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
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Some people are born losers others acquire the knack gradually.
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Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
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There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
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If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
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I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
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There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
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I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.
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I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
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The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
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The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
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Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
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Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
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I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
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If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
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