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All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Men
Bearded
Beard
Family
Women

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
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I'm looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.).
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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
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I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
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Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
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It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
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After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.
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A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him and it usually does.
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I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
W. C. Fields
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The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
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Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
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Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. Fields
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I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
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I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
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When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
W. C. Fields
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. Fields
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I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
W. C. Fields
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All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.
W. C. Fields