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All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Bearded
Beard
Family
Women
Men
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.
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I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
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Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
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Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.
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There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
W. C. Fields
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. Fields
I'm searching for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him and it usually does.
W. C. Fields
Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. Fields
A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
W. C. Fields
The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.
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I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.
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If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
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A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. Fields
Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
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It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.
W. C. Fields
Never give a sucker an even break.
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After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
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If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. Fields
