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All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Bearded
Beard
Family
Women
Men

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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
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Some people are born losers others acquire the knack gradually.
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The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents.
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First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
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Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
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Never give a sucker an even break.
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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
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I never met a kid I liked.
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The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
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The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
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Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
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If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
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It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason
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Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
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Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
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I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
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I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.
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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
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Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
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