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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Cute
Witty
Humorous
Spent
Bible
Funny
Time
Loopholes
Searching
More quotes by W. C. Fields
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. Fields
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. Fields
What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
W. C. Fields
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. Fields
When asked to borrow money: I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.
W. C. Fields
Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
W. C. Fields
Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. Fields
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. Fields
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
W. C. Fields
There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
W. C. Fields
A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him and it usually does.
W. C. Fields
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
W. C. Fields
I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
W. C. Fields
The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.
W. C. Fields
Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
W. C. Fields
Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.
W. C. Fields
Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
W. C. Fields
The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
W. C. Fields
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
W. C. Fields
