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Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Never
Ignorant
Claus
Asking
Aboriginal
Bring
Bigots
Prayer
Solace
Religious
Santa
Anything
Prayers
Bigot
May
Enlightened
Xmas
Something
Lazy
Sap
More quotes by W. C. Fields
My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
W. C. Fields
So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.
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It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
W. C. Fields
I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.
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The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.
W. C. Fields
Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
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I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.
W. C. Fields
All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
W. C. Fields
It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.
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Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. Fields
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. Fields
Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
W. C. Fields
No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
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During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. Fields
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. Fields
I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
W. C. Fields
Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
W. C. Fields
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. Fields
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. Fields
