Quote

Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
May
Enlightened
Xmas
Something
Lazy
Sap
Never
Ignorant
Claus
Asking
Aboriginal
Bring
Bigots
Prayer
Solace
Religious
Santa
Anything
Prayers
Bigot

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Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
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There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
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If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
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I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
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Ain't fit for man nor beast
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When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
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After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
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A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
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I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.
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I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
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The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
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A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
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I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
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