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I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Alcohol
Medical
Authority
Age
Give
Best
Advised
Giving
Beer
Attempt

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Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
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I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
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A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him and it usually does.
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My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw.
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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
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I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
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California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
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The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
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I'm searching for loopholes.
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Happiness means quiet nerves.
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I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
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Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
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I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
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