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I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Else
Brewing
Impunity
Invites
Beer
Humorous
Drink
Anyone

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
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Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
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Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
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Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
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Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.
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You can't cheat an honest man.
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Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
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A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
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I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
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The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.
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California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
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Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
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I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
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The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .
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Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
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Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
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