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I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Invites
Beer
Humorous
Drink
Anyone
Else
Brewing
Impunity
More quotes by W. C. Fields
My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw.
W. C. Fields
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. Fields
Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
W. C. Fields
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields
Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. Fields
Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
W. C. Fields
If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
W. C. Fields
Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
W. C. Fields
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
W. C. Fields
You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
W. C. Fields
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
W. C. Fields
I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
W. C. Fields
I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. Fields
Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.
W. C. Fields
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. Fields
I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
W. C. Fields
So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.
W. C. Fields
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. Fields
A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
W. C. Fields
