Quote

Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Wouldn
Reliable
Terrible
Insanity
Religious
Statistics
Religion
Alcohol
People
Insane
Driven
Drinking
Quoted
Prove
Hysteria

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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
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I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
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If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
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First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
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Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
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The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
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The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.
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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
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