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I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Either
Hand
Less
Hands
Drinking
Anymore
Drink
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!
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California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
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Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
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I'm looking for loopholes.
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. Fields
Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
W. C. Fields
I'm searching for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
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There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
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The advantages of whiskey over dogs are legion. Whiskey does not need to be periodically wormed, it does not need to be fed, it never requires a special kennel, it has no toenails to be clipped or coat to be stripped. Whiskey sits quietly in its special nook until you want it. True, whiskey has a nasty habit of running out, but then so does a dog.
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Some people are born losers others acquire the knack gradually.
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How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.
W. C. Fields
I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
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Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
W. C. Fields
I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. Fields
Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.
W. C. Fields
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
W. C. Fields