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I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Drink
Either
Hand
Less
Hands
Drinking
Anymore
More quotes by W. C. Fields
When asked to borrow money: I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
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Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
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Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.
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I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
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Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
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It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
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Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!
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If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
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Ain't fit for man nor beast
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Happiness means quiet nerves.
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Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
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It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
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If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
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Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
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I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
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