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I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Less
Hands
Drinking
Anymore
Drink
Either
Hand

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First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
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I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.
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If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
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Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
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Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
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Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.
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If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
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Some people are born losers others acquire the knack gradually.
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All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
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My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
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