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I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Drinking
Anymore
Drink
Either
Hand
Less
Hands

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
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I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
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Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
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I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
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My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
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I like children. If they're properly cooked.
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When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
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All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
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Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
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There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.
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I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
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The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
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Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
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I never eat before breakfast.
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No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
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How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.
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I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
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