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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Sleep
Funny
Time
Beer
Drinking
Certainly
Drink

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
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My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
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The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.
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I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
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First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
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When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
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I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.
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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
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Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.
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If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
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Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!
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Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
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What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
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The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
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I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
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There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
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Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
W. C. Fields
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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. Fields
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I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
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I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
W. C. Fields