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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Drinking
Certainly
Drink
Sleep
Funny
Time
Beer

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
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I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
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Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
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Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
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I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
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The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
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I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
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Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
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You can't cheat an honest man.
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The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
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Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
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If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
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Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
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California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
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It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
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The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.
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Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
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What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
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The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. Fields