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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Beer
Drinking
Certainly
Drink
Sleep
Funny
Time
More quotes by W. C. Fields
The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.
W. C. Fields
In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
W. C. Fields
Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
W. C. Fields
When asked to borrow money: I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.
W. C. Fields
The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
W. C. Fields
Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. Fields
Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
W. C. Fields
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. Fields
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
W. C. Fields
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. Fields
It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
W. C. Fields
All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia
W. C. Fields
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. Fields
All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
W. C. Fields
I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
W. C. Fields
I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.
W. C. Fields
After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
W. C. Fields
I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. Fields
Never work with animals or children.
W. C. Fields
