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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Beer
Drinking
Certainly
Drink
Sleep
Funny
Time
More quotes by W. C. Fields
A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
W. C. Fields
Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
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I can do anything I want to do!
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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
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If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
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I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.
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All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
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It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
W. C. Fields
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. Fields
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
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Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
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I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
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I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
W. C. Fields
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
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Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.
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Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
W. C. Fields
Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
W. C. Fields
Happiness means quiet nerves.
W. C. Fields
All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
W. C. Fields
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. Fields
