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Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Upon
Arising
Back
Tremble
Would
Shake
Shakes
Drinking
Exercise
Days
Hours
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
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You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
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The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.
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In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
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There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
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A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
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I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
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If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
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I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
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The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
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I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
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Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
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I always made up my own acts built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
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Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
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I never drink water that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
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I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
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All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.
W. C. Fields
