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I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Control
Breakfast
Food
Witty
Funny
Humorous
Strong
Drunk
Anything
Drinking
Self
Stronger
Never
Exercise
Drink
Gin
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
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Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
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Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
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It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
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The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
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Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
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Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
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Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
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Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
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It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
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Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
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It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
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I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
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I'm looking for loopholes.
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First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
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I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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