Quote

Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Times
Anywhere
Everyone
Six
House
Drinking
Else
Seven
Always
Early
Claus
Least
Santa
Seeing
Pleasant
Start
Christmas

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Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
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Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
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If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
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I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
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The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
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The advantages of whiskey over dogs are legion. Whiskey does not need to be periodically wormed, it does not need to be fed, it never requires a special kennel, it has no toenails to be clipped or coat to be stripped. Whiskey sits quietly in its special nook until you want it. True, whiskey has a nasty habit of running out, but then so does a dog.
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I always made up my own acts built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
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