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You can't cheat an honest man.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Men
Cheat
Honesty
Wine
Honest
Truth

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!
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Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
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Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
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I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
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Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
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I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
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Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
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Now don't say you can't swear off drinking it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
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You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. Fields
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Never work with animals or children.
W. C. Fields
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Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
W. C. Fields
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A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him and it usually does.
W. C. Fields
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I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.
W. C. Fields
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I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
W. C. Fields
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All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.
W. C. Fields
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I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
W. C. Fields
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Some people are born losers others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. Fields
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Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.
W. C. Fields