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You can't cheat an honest man.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Cheat
Honesty
Wine
Honest
Truth
Men
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.
W. C. Fields
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. Fields
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. Fields
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. Fields
Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.
W. C. Fields
Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. Fields
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. Fields
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. Fields
Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
W. C. Fields
I have been in the entertainment business some forty-three years, and I have never said anything detrimental or anything that might be construed as belittling any race or religion. I would be a sucker to do so because you can't insult the customers.
W. C. Fields
There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
W. C. Fields
Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
W. C. Fields
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. Fields
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. Fields
I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
W. C. Fields
Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. Fields
In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
W. C. Fields
The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents.
W. C. Fields
