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You can't cheat an honest man.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Men
Cheat
Honesty
Wine
Honest
Truth

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents.
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It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.
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I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
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I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
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I never met a kid I liked.
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A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
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There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
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I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.
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Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
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It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.
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California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
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I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
W. C. Fields
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It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
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When asked to borrow money: I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.
W. C. Fields
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I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
W. C. Fields
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Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.
W. C. Fields
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A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
W. C. Fields