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I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Women
Wasted
Gambling
Alcohol
Wild
Spent
Half
Money
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I drink therefore I am.
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It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
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My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw.
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I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
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I like children - fried.
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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
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I never eat before breakfast.
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I never met a kid I liked.
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I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
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All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
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I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
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There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
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Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!
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Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
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It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
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During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. Fields
