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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Cheating
Worth
Thing

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
W. C. Fields
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Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.
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Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.
W. C. Fields
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Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
W. C. Fields
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I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. Fields
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I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.
W. C. Fields
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I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
W. C. Fields
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I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. Fields
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Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.
W. C. Fields
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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. Fields
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I always made up my own acts built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
W. C. Fields
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Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
W. C. Fields
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I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.
W. C. Fields
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A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
W. C. Fields
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The advantages of whiskey over dogs are legion. Whiskey does not need to be periodically wormed, it does not need to be fed, it never requires a special kennel, it has no toenails to be clipped or coat to be stripped. Whiskey sits quietly in its special nook until you want it. True, whiskey has a nasty habit of running out, but then so does a dog.
W. C. Fields
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A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. Fields
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Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields
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Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
W. C. Fields
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Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
W. C. Fields
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I drink therefore I am.
W. C. Fields