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All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Considered
Rather
Things
Philadelphia

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I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.
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Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
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Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
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The best thing to break is a contract.
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I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
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The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .
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I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
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Never work with animals or children.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
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I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
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Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
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