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There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Come
First
Tender
Children
Seven
Thing
Tough
Always
Food
Child
Hours
Firsts
More quotes by W. C. Fields
No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
W. C. Fields
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. Fields
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
W. C. Fields
Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.
W. C. Fields
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. Fields
It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore however, I'm not drinking any less either.
W. C. Fields
First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
W. C. Fields
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. Fields
I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. Fields
I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.
W. C. Fields
A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
W. C. Fields
It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. Fields
Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
W. C. Fields
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
W. C. Fields
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. Fields
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. Fields
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields
I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
W. C. Fields
