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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Funny
Drank
Inspirational
Beer
Alcohol
Another
Drinking
Something
Drink
Believe
Humor
Everybody
Party
Cognac

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.
W. C. Fields
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Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
W. C. Fields
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Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
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My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw.
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I'm searching for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
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Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
W. C. Fields
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I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
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It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason
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I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.
W. C. Fields
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Happiness means quiet nerves.
W. C. Fields
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I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.
W. C. Fields
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I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.
W. C. Fields
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I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.
W. C. Fields
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I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!
W. C. Fields
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Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
W. C. Fields
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I like children - fried.
W. C. Fields
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Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
W. C. Fields
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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. Fields
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First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
W. C. Fields
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I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
W. C. Fields