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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Funny
Drank
Inspirational
Beer
Another
Alcohol
Something
Drinking
Believe
Drink
Humor
Everybody
Party
Cognac
More quotes by W. C. Fields
The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
W. C. Fields
I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
W. C. Fields
Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
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I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
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So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.
W. C. Fields
I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
W. C. Fields
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields
I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
W. C. Fields
No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
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I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
W. C. Fields
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
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No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
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Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
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I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
W. C. Fields
Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
W. C. Fields
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. Fields
Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
W. C. Fields
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
W. C. Fields
A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
W. C. Fields
Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.
W. C. Fields
