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Ain't fit for man nor beast

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Beast
Fit
Men

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
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Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
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The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
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I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
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I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.
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A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
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What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
W. C. Fields
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I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
W. C. Fields
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I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
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Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields
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It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason
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There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
W. C. Fields
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Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.
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There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.
W. C. Fields
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. Fields
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When asked to borrow money: I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.
W. C. Fields