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Ain't fit for man nor beast

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Fit
Men
Beast

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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The advantages of whiskey over dogs are legion. Whiskey does not need to be periodically wormed, it does not need to be fed, it never requires a special kennel, it has no toenails to be clipped or coat to be stripped. Whiskey sits quietly in its special nook until you want it. True, whiskey has a nasty habit of running out, but then so does a dog.
W. C. Fields
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Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. Fields
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I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
W. C. Fields
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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. Fields
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Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
W. C. Fields
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Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
W. C. Fields
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I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.
W. C. Fields
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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. Fields
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. Fields
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All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia
W. C. Fields
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Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
W. C. Fields
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Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!
W. C. Fields
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I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. Fields
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The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. Fields
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I'm searching for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
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I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
W. C. Fields
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Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. Fields
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Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. Fields
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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. Fields
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I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
W. C. Fields