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Ain't fit for man nor beast

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Beast
Fit
Men

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
W. C. Fields
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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. Fields
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Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields
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It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
W. C. Fields
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Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. Fields
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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
W. C. Fields
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Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
W. C. Fields
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When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. Fields
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You can't cheat an honest man.
W. C. Fields
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I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. Fields
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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
W. C. Fields
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. Fields
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. Fields
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I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. Fields
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I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.
W. C. Fields
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Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. Fields
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Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
W. C. Fields
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Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
W. C. Fields
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The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .
W. C. Fields
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I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. Fields