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Ain't fit for man nor beast

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Fit
Men
Beast

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
W. C. Fields
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A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. Fields
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A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
W. C. Fields
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My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
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Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
W. C. Fields
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It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. Fields
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I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. Fields
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Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
W. C. Fields
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I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. Fields
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There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
W. C. Fields
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I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. Fields
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Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
W. C. Fields
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I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
W. C. Fields
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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
W. C. Fields
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I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
W. C. Fields
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Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. Fields
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Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
W. C. Fields
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How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?
W. C. Fields
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I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
W. C. Fields