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Ain't fit for man nor beast

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Beast
Fit
Men

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
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All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
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I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
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The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
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In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
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So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.
W. C. Fields
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Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
W. C. Fields
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I'm searching for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
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I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. Fields
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Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. Fields
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Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
W. C. Fields
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When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. Fields
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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. Fields
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When asked to borrow money: I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.
W. C. Fields
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I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. Fields
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A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. Fields
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I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.
W. C. Fields
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I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
W. C. Fields