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Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Drinking
Drink
Together
Take
Breakfast
Bars
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
W. C. Fields
Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
W. C. Fields
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. Fields
The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.
W. C. Fields
I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
W. C. Fields
I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
W. C. Fields
Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.
W. C. Fields
After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
W. C. Fields
To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.
W. C. Fields
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
W. C. Fields
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. Fields
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
W. C. Fields
It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
W. C. Fields
If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
W. C. Fields
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. Fields
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. Fields
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. Fields
What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
W. C. Fields
