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Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Take
Breakfast
Bars
Drinking
Drink
Together

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Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
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Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
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The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
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The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
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I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
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The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.
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Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
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Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.
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If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
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The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.
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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
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Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
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Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
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I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
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If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
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