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Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Breakfast
Bars
Drinking
Drink
Together
Take
More quotes by W. C. Fields
The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .
W. C. Fields
The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.
W. C. Fields
It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
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No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
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If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
W. C. Fields
Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. Fields
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. Fields
I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
W. C. Fields
No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
W. C. Fields
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
W. C. Fields
Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. Fields
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. Fields
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. Fields
I can do anything I want to do!
W. C. Fields
I'm looking for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
W. C. Fields
I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
W. C. Fields
