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It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Funnier
Bend
Break
Things
More quotes by W. C. Fields
After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
W. C. Fields
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
W. C. Fields
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. Fields
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields
Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
W. C. Fields
I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. Fields
There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
W. C. Fields
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
W. C. Fields
There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
W. C. Fields
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. Fields
Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
W. C. Fields
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. Fields
Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
W. C. Fields
The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.
W. C. Fields
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. Fields
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
W. C. Fields
I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.
W. C. Fields
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
W. C. Fields
