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It is funnier to bend things than to break them.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Funnier
Bend
Break
Things

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
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The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.
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A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
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All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia
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A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
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Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
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No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
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The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.
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I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
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There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
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During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
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Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
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I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
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I'm searching for loopholes.
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
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Some people are born losers others acquire the knack gradually.
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How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?
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I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
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If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
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