Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I like children. If they're properly cooked.
W. C. Fields
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Cooked
Properly
Explanation
Children
Like
More quotes by W. C. Fields
After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
W. C. Fields
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. Fields
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. Fields
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields
Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
W. C. Fields
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. Fields
Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
W. C. Fields
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. Fields
I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
W. C. Fields
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. Fields
Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
W. C. Fields
Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
W. C. Fields
Ain't fit for man nor beast
W. C. Fields
No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
W. C. Fields
The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. Fields
I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
W. C. Fields
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields
