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I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Flies
Best
Ever
Everything
Come

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
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My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
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I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
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I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
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I have been in the entertainment business some forty-three years, and I have never said anything detrimental or anything that might be construed as belittling any race or religion. I would be a sucker to do so because you can't insult the customers.
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Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
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Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
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There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
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It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
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Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
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To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.
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I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
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Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
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Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
W. C. Fields
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I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
W. C. Fields
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My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. Fields
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Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields