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I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Flies
Best
Ever
Everything
Come
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I drink therefore I am.
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It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore however, I'm not drinking any less either.
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Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
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Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
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I'm looking for loopholes.
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
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I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
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When asked to borrow money: I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.
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I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
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Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
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The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
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I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.
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I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
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Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
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All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
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The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.
W. C. Fields
I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
W. C. Fields
