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I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Flies
Best
Ever
Everything
Come

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
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Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.
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Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
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The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .
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When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
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If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
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I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
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Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
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I have been in the entertainment business some forty-three years, and I have never said anything detrimental or anything that might be construed as belittling any race or religion. I would be a sucker to do so because you can't insult the customers.
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I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
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Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
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Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
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Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
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I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
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I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
W. C. Fields