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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Philadelphia
Fog
Closed
Week
Went
Lasts
Last
More quotes by W. C. Fields
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
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Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
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A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
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I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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I can do anything I want to do!
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I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.
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It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.
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I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
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I'm looking for loopholes.
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I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
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It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason
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Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
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I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.
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Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
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I never met a kid I liked.
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I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.
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Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
W. C. Fields