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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Philadelphia
Fog
Closed
Week
Went
Lasts
Last
More quotes by W. C. Fields
The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.
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If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
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When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
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I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!
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I never drink water that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
W. C. Fields
I'm looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.).
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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
W. C. Fields
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
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I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. Fields
I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
W. C. Fields
I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
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Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!
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I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
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Ain't fit for man nor beast
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I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
W. C. Fields
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. Fields
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. Fields
In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
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Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
W. C. Fields
I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.
W. C. Fields