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I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Wine
Drink
Beautiful
Vineyards
Thing
Indebted
Love
Drove
Grapes
Blonde
Drinking
More quotes by W. C. Fields
The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.
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Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
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I'm looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.).
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Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
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Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
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I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
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The best thing to break is a contract.
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I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
W. C. Fields
Never work with animals or children.
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I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
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Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
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The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.
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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
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I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
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A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him and it usually does.
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A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
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Some people are born losers others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. Fields
The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
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If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
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No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
W. C. Fields
