Quote

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Drinking
Wine
Drink
Beautiful
Vineyards
Thing
Indebted
Love
Drove
Grapes
Blonde

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I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
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I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
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You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
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All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.
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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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I'm looking for loopholes.
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In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
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Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
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If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
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During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
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I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
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Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
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I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
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You can't cheat an honest man.
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I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
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Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
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