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I never met a kid I liked.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Liked
Mets
Kids
Never

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
W. C. Fields
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Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
W. C. Fields
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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. Fields
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I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
W. C. Fields
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How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?
W. C. Fields
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Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.
W. C. Fields
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In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
W. C. Fields
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The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. Fields
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I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. Fields
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If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
W. C. Fields
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Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
W. C. Fields
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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. Fields
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I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
W. C. Fields
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Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
W. C. Fields
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Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
W. C. Fields
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During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. Fields
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Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
W. C. Fields
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Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
W. C. Fields
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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. Fields