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I never met a kid I liked.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Liked
Mets
Kids
Never

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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The best thing to break is a contract.
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I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.
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Ain't fit for man nor beast
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The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
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I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
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It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
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I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
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I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
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Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
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I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
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Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
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When asked to borrow money: I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.
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When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
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Never work with animals or children.
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California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
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In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
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It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
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I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
W. C. Fields