Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
W. C. Fields
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Abstaining
Favorable
Abstinence
Pocket
Pockets
Head
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
W. C. Fields
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. Fields
All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.
W. C. Fields
Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
W. C. Fields
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. Fields
It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
W. C. Fields
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. Fields
Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. Fields
I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.
W. C. Fields
I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
W. C. Fields
I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.
W. C. Fields
It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
W. C. Fields
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. Fields
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. Fields
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. Fields
I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
W. C. Fields
How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.
W. C. Fields
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. Fields
I'm looking for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
