Quote

Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Pocket
Pockets
Head
Abstaining
Favorable
Abstinence

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I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
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Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
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It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
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I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
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Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
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Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
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I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.
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What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake which emitted a curious ticking noise? Would you plunge it into a pail of water - thus insulting Soviet cuisine in general?
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Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
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If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
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I drink therefore I am.
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I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.
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I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
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I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
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I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
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If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
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