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Never give a sucker an even break.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Give
Vineyards
Giving
Sucker
Even
Grapes
Never
Gambling
Drinking
Wine
Comedy
Break

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
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Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
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I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
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How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?
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All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.
W. C. Fields
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No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
W. C. Fields
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Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!
W. C. Fields
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Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
W. C. Fields
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I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. Fields
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I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
W. C. Fields
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It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason
W. C. Fields
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I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
W. C. Fields
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If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
W. C. Fields
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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. Fields
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Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.
W. C. Fields
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I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
W. C. Fields
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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. Fields
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Never work with animals or children.
W. C. Fields