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Never give a sucker an even break.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Even
Grapes
Never
Gambling
Drinking
Wine
Comedy
Break
Give
Vineyards
Giving
Sucker

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
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There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
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Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.
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It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
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I never met a kid I liked.
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Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
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I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.
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So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.
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I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
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Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
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Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
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I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!
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If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
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The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
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It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
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I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
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I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
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The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
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Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
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I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
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