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Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Never
Gambling
Drinking
Wine
Comedy
Break
Give
Vineyards
Giving
Sucker
Even
Grapes
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
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The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents.
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Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
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The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
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Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
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A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him and it usually does.
W. C. Fields
Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
W. C. Fields
There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
W. C. Fields
I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
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I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
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Some people are born losers others acquire the knack gradually.
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Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
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I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
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I'm looking for loopholes.
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I never drink water that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
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If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. Fields
I'm looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.).
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The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
W. C. Fields
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
W. C. Fields
