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Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Seen
Heard
Ever
Children
Neither
Comedy
More quotes by W. C. Fields
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. Fields
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. Fields
A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
W. C. Fields
I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
W. C. Fields
Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
W. C. Fields
The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents.
W. C. Fields
I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. Fields
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
W. C. Fields
The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.
W. C. Fields
I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
W. C. Fields
I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. Fields
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. Fields
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. Fields
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
W. C. Fields
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. Fields
All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
W. C. Fields
Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
W. C. Fields
I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
W. C. Fields
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
W. C. Fields
