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I drink therefore I am.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Alcohol
Clever
Drinking
Therefore
Drink
Funny
Beer

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
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I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
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I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. Fields
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I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
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I'm searching for loopholes.
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When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
W. C. Fields
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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. Fields
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California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
W. C. Fields
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During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. Fields
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Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.
W. C. Fields
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If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
W. C. Fields
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Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
W. C. Fields
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Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
W. C. Fields
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. Fields
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I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. Fields
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I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
W. C. Fields
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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
W. C. Fields
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Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields
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I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
W. C. Fields